I wanted to make sure to write a post about what happened to me on Sunday night while I was out. It was disturbing, but rewarding in the end, and speaks a lot for the work society has made but also still has ahead of us.

Sunday two of my girl friends and I were out at a bar in Charleston, WV. All three of us are friends with the bartender, as well as an "off-duty" bouncer who was there. Both of these men were sitting and talking with us; when the bouncer and my friend would go outside to smoke (yay smoking ban!!), I would generally accompany them. On one of these occasions, the bouncer happened to give me a hug, for which he is well-known around town for doing. While this was happening, a man who had been in the bar and who knew my friend through work (but did not know her well) was watching from afar. As I would later find out, this man was not okay with a black man hugging a white woman.
After returning to the bar, the bouncer joined some of his friends and left us to continue talking at our table. The man from outside returned as well, and after seeing that I was not with the bouncer, used it as an opportunity to voice his opinion. This came in the form of some very offensive statements, beginning with the question, "Are you really okay F------ a black guy?" This not only offended me because of the obvious racism, but also because to him, a woman hugging a male at a bar is presumed to automatically lead to sex. He continued along this line of questioning, and also mentioned things like that just not being "right". He showed immediate disgust when I told him that I really saw no problem with the scenario he was presenting. My friend wasted little time in sternly telling him that it should not matter one's race in any type of relationship, whether it be platonic or intimate. When he continued to make offensive statements, my friend left to alert the bartender of the problem. He then alerted the owner of the bar, who was there at the time.
The offender had walked away by this time, and my friend and I went on to discuss the situation. After some time, we started to leave the bar only to find the exit blocked by what turned out to be a very satisfying sight. The bartender, owner, bouncer, and three of the other patrons were calmly confronting the man and explaining why what he said was not okay. They informed him that he needed to leave and not come back. One should also understand that the owner and bartender were white men and the bouncer and other patrons black men. While I was incredibly surprised, offended, and saddened at the remarks that were said, the sight of this group coming together to peacefully defy the remarks and actions of this man was relatively moving. I have been in bars in Charleston where offenses, albeit generally sexist ones, are overlooked because the person is a [well] paying customer. That was not the case in this situation; further, it illustrated the power of approaching such situations with words rather than punches.